Sneaky Ways to Work Better With a Difficult Co-worker

Sneaky Ways to Work Better With a Difficult Co-workerSneaky Ways to Work Better With a Difficult Co-workerThe colleague with the uncomfortable sense of humor. The client who has zero concept of personal space. The assistant who chatters non-stop. When you find yourself teamed with someone whose work style- and, well, personal habits- couldnt be further from your own, its tempting to just put your head down, and (as cordially as possible) tune out his or her differences.And while this may help you get your work done without ruffling any feathers, it does nothing to help you build a connection. A better approach? Do your best to try and get on his or her wavelength, which will not only help you work together mora effectively, itll impress everyone around you. Read on for the dos and donts of working with someone with a difficult personality. Dont JudgeBy glossing over a difference in work style- or getting frustrated by it- you lose the opportunity to gain more insight into the person youre working with. Instead, try to take a step back, and instead of judging someones behavior, consider where he or she might be coming from. That colleague with the awkward sense of humor? Ask yourself why he might be cracking those jokes. To break the ice? To help illustrate a point? Just because? By stepping outside of judging his sense of humor and focusing on where the jokes find their way into conversation, you will be able to develop a plan of action to work together more effectively. On that noteDo Give Them What They NeedIts true that you cant always change someone elses behavior, but you can often change your own. So, once you know (or have guessed) where someones quirks might be coming from, look for ways you might be able to mitigate them. That meeting attendee who always speaks first and loudest? Perhaps she fears not being heard. By making an effort to listen extra carefully and using check-back-in phrases like, I think youre saying you can allay that insecurity and m ove forward.As far as the assistant who is always chattering away about the latest celebrity gossip? She may simply want to build a beyond-the-9-to-5 relationship with her colleagues. Try adding some pop culture mavens to your Twitter feed and engaging in an exchange about Kimyes wedding plans or Kates latest dress. After a few minutes of bonding, suggest you both get down to work. Do Adjust the CircumstancesStill cant figure out where someones coming from? Focus on how you can shift the environment youre both operating in. If, for example, close talking makes you uncomfortable, dont choose a crowded coffee shop for a meeting. Anyone who has an issue with auditory discrimination will need to be as close as possible to hear you over the music, the people ordering, the five tables around you, and so forth- so instead scout out a location thats equally convenient but boasts a quiet atmosphere.Or, lets revisit the client with no sense of personal space who manages to take over your offi ce when she comes in for a meeting. If you cant get to your notes because theyre buried under the jacket she flung on your desk, find a polite way to mention it. Perhaps begin with, Could I hang your coat for you? This can be applied to other scenarios as well. Ask yourself what you can do to make the overall environment as conducive to a comfortable work environment as possible- then do it.Dont Gossip After the FactOkay, isnt one of the benefits of working with someone colorful that you get some great stories? And doesnt a little water cooler gossip build camaraderie among colleagues? Yes and sure, but remember that any points you gain dishing about the other persons eccentricities will cost you the relationship youve been working so hard to build with him or her.If you do foster a great connection with someone legendarily hard to reach, your colleagues will likely be curious. Just go out of your way to avoid framing it as I totally handled working with that person, and instead cho ose, I just learned that hes not a fan of meeting over meals- and its definitely helped us communicate better. Working with someone who is known for being difficult doesnt have to be, well, difficult. Be focusing on the other person in a positive way, you can make constructive strides in your working relationship- and your overall office happiness.Photo of people working courtesy of Shutterstock.